The psychological frustration initiated by your arbitrary outbursts of anger

Character assassination to protect yourself as a bommeranger

Vomiting words of your self-hatred, resentment, ignited trauma and regret

Words that melted into my veins, tarnishing my blood

With firey ink that fueled my writers hand

I look back in awe for the girl who crumpled in her bed, choses to dust off the cobwebs of sand instead

She may not know yet know this year will still demand more from her archives of coping mechanisms

That she will not rest on the soul mission unrest

That it will not be okay and that’s okay

Lonely ghost towns, woods, apparitions and staircases, tracing shadows of you

Only her reflection for company

The only one that dared to make eye contact

I wish i could tell her it gets better, but honestly?

The year is going to make her want to give in, give up, give out, give everything she has until there’s nothing left

And then give that up too and she will

And she will fall to her knees

And she will not get back up

But when she does, i will be here and we will meet again

Is it ever too lonely here with a soul which has
a thirst that even the God’s can’t quench?

With a heart that holds secrets dark and deep

Where roots of the archaic artictectual trees too can’t reach

It is ever too lonely here journeying inward, beyond walls and boundaries to seek Self

There’s embers of you and me, so radiant
and warm, take its hand and follow it

Drogo you will not be forgotten inked upon my ankles

As you prepare for transmigration

I wish you well in your cosmic travels from inside on my womb

I hope you can see this is the more sensible tomb

Burning fever high, burning limbs

Shivering under the moonlight luna

Someone to hold, someone to hug, in-person connection dreams of snug

Lullabies of my mind lull me into the astral dreams

I chose to write letters to pacify the isolation

Don’t we all have those things of consolation?

Medicinal alchemy of compensation.

~DiosRaw, Amber Victoria, 03/04/22


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