Cigarettes, plants and bad decisions, abortions and blood stained into bedsheets

A good idea gone rogue in a moment by the chase and retreat

Words bitten off before they emerge and a sudden sense of regret

Muzzled vocals

Blended in a soup of lies and misunderstandings, part of the story heard yet not seen

The ins and outs and turns and twists confined to breakup the psyche into blisters

What feels good can’t hurt you until its not good anymore

Reality doesn’t touch the bedroom until someone opens and knocks on the door

I know healthy love, where is the reflection

Grasping the skin like it’s what we had and reluctantly letting go

Slipping through the gaps betwixt the fingers

The truth unspilled through your conscience

Of what you are not willing to see

Freudian psychological father

Trampled dreams, plans and configurations

Infidelity nightmares of traumas past gone

Another woman looking after my baby

A tornado mess

Hell realms of purgatory

Am I that disposable?

Can you not see the beauty in the fogged up looking glass?

Sexual ecstasy

Shaken mess, face of business, sinking under own weight of lack of friendship and holding the self entwined

You told me all these fabrications, the hair was the straw that broke the camels back

A cocktail of all you did to me, reflecting what I’m doing to myself

I will wait now for you if you choose to look at yourself and what you had done to a village girl

My heart was touched, now it is burning up inside out of phoenix flames

How can I trust again?

Wrap me God in a blanket of love and sooth the creases of the tapestry

Those helpless moments haunt, utterly powerlessness

If a thousand words were said, would you get it?

The push and pull of dumb ideas and a lack of self control

A touch of bodies barely touching in our sleep, and sanity far too late

An awkward smile all the while thinking who I am anymore

Stains on the skin that the shower can’t wash, they’ve soaked down to bone

So much so are this tender age I feel damned

If only I felt it was safe I would walk into your arms and stroll across the beaches

The kind of shenanigans that leaks the life energy, your not wanting to live anymore

Human dimensional spiritualess spiritual

As I gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes into “me”

Drained and foolish

Yet so tightly entangled

Delusional, to make it out alive

The knowledge that gasps and quiet laughs doesn’t mean we aren’t gone

An addiction of love, God, that scares me still beyond.

~DiosRaw, Amber Victoria, 27/04/22

10 thoughts on “Poetry {228} ~ STAINED PSYCHE SHEETS PHOENIX”

  1. I’ll pray for God’s love to people in my Ramadan night prayers. God can see the eternal potential of people, and I ask, can’t any stain dissolve into infinity, like it never existed in the first place? Isn’t that logical?

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      1. Thank you. I know it can sound a bit much, but it was an ‘insight’ that helped me annihilate my prejudices of people and a lack of hope in them. Cheers.

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  2. We spend our youth seeking excitement and the emotional Highs in life, only to discover that suffering the Lows must be experienced afterwards. For some the trip is worth it, for others it is not and they give up too soon to discover what it’s all about. For some a lifetime is spent in regret of a few mistaken moments, a few heart wrenching experiences, delving the depths of emotional turmoil, dwelling in the dark night of the Soul. For others, they shake themselves off, lift themselves up and continue to move forward, skimming the surface, ignoring the loose ends and residue of past failures. The 3D life is a tightrope walk, learning to balance the polarity of “Either”/”Or”. to find our “Center”, our “Core” until we come to the other side, old age and that state of Neutrality, which we come to learn is Peace and our true home. And then, we can look back and see in Truth, that it was all for good, even the bad. Believe it or not. it is all for good and every step of the way we are learning to balance, gaining ability, increasing in wisdom, contributing our tithe to the expansion of Universal Consciousness. πŸ’ž

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