Category Archives: Poetry

Poetry {130} ~ EMERGENCY ROOM SENTIMENTS

In these impermanent moments when life and death converge

Love is the refuge leaning in to submerge

When on the verge

Bleeding out womb wounds

Complications melded with fainting tunes

Sleep deprived, drained and anemia lurking, iron starvation twisting my psyche

Emergency room’s florescent lights dull hum at 18:07

Again she writhes in pain despite the painkillers she never wanted to take

It’ll end they say

Though there’s no end in sight

Death flowers up through warm

Forgotten past life trauma psychics say

Wait for the doctor’s diagnosis

Somewhere the blood flows like a poisoned river

Somewhere florescent lights dim
and all across the UK lights fade, the characters in the infinite dream

Lion-hearted mask drop
Not here
Not yet

How long can you keep up the smiling when there is a torturous void inside?

Dunked under, gasping for air

Anxiety strangling the soul

Sleepless nights wired staring at walls

Can’t cope with this trapdoor

Energies sturring up inside

Debating inside do it or not

Baring the observer of hundreds of universes spinning and mingling with my aura, an unconscious dance; tearing up inside, my ego spits me out and chews it up, the thoughts of what could be cut the soul into smithereens.. Quietly tearing through numbness..

Deadly delirous yet sanest sane

Slipping into the insane

When will the day come when the poems are pregnant with the sweetest notes of my soul?

The melodies caged within the worn out chambers of the heart

Waking in a pool blood bath

Storms whipping up in my mind

The devil is in the midsts

Can’t feel anything anymore

Salivating at relief, where are you?

Black hole

How much pain can a person take until they break?

The more you run, the more it comes for you

Hormones dishevelled, blood loss, flooding numbness and tingling, not well in the head

Stiffled, suppressed, help,making myself sick, creator of own reality, exploding a birth of supernovae cocooned within

Lost

Too much pain wringing my mind

I wonder how did it get to this

Where have you gone, where are you?

Did you ever leave?

I wonder if I’ll fall through the crevices, a baby chick dropping out of a tree, deformed wings

Running all night long, feeling in control

In my soul

Gold, brewing in the astral spheres

Oh I dream

Trying to walk to smoke the cigarette, my dummy, stuff I never imagined

Each step a knife cuts through my gut, coarsing through every cell of my being

Limitations numerological ruminations

Need therapy

Just hold me in yand never let go

It’s self love I know

Addictions on the verge of collapse

Delirious to connect, can’t do this, can do that, what the is that?

Can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t weep

Depression creeping up, lack of oxygen, lack of blood, neurotransmitters befuddled up

Rumbling, I sense the presence of doom sinking and plunging seemly without consent

We are no closer to home

Yet it’s already here in this quantum striny

Flash of red-white ER lights

Wail of sirens

Bedded and waiting

Bleeding, weak, faint and desperate pleas of painting

As the IVs drip, drip, dripping clear fluids

Old blue hospital air in a room without sun

Still waiting

Yields to cell with the shield bearing insurers at Blue

Still the drip, drip, dripping of the IV bag

Forces me to keep my shaky arm down
against the blood panels

Exhale… resignation

Forced admittance

Transferred to room 5162

Hospital blue again

Beside colour coded lines beneath the signs for ante-natal, children’s, orthopedics, geriatric care,
concentric sets of double doors

Past murals hung on whitewashed walls

Filling space but not the time

Which stretches and expands as I walk the corridors toward ward three

Reception staff are busy at their desks, scuttling from here to there

Do they know they are working for the devil?

The unconscious beauty of being in service to others yet

Thinking the good they do, yet a knowing that the loop circuitry is to keep people sick

To make the orgy of money for the devil’s playground, maya

Here, propped up, I make a home for these momentary hours or nights

Blankets cradle me so the locked hair
cascades around the weary resting face
and plunges down as her safety net of protection

The Wheel of Fortune is on the big screen

As patients echo lulls in the emergency room

Churning, cold, endlessly waiting yet being in this carnival of melancholic abyss

Alone yet never alone. I love you.

~DiosRaw, 22/07/21

Poetry {129} ~ SHACKLES OF OBLIVION

My shackles are my thoughts, my over-ambitious out of sight dreams

My shackles are the voices in my head, so loving yet so protective in ways illogical it seems

My shackles are the moments where I stayed silent when I should have spoken

My shackles are the choices I made that still relentlessly haunt me out in the open

My shackles are the ideas that never turned to action, actions that could have changed my life

My shackles swamp me entirely and weigh me down, cutting every move made, pricks of a knife

My shackles speak to me, sometimes they even listen to my pleas

The shackles that bind my heart are slowly increasing, squeezing the penultimate drops of will see

They are the same shackles that I’ve fought so hard to break

But then, I am back in the corner where my shackles bind me floating in a lake

Scared of it all

The memories

The empty thoughts

The unresponsiveness of the sky

The soul grinds

Throws the key

And just lets it be

Clamped tight for the night

Phantom shackles

Thanks to the cold remedy the mind thinks heals so well…

Until the cracks of the eyes open onto another glimpse of dappled light

In an unfamiliar place

Maybe this will finally end the soul of this destructive chase

Or to another breakdown

Maybe the same whirlwind

That spent the last 8 hours

The shackles. The shackles. The shackled.

~DiosRaw, 21/07/21

Poetry {128} ~ GOD IS MY LIGHT, BRIGHT SHINING ONE, ELEANOR

Oh, how you sparkle as diamonds so rare

Shining bright one in the fresh Southern air

Dancing suspended to eclectic tunes in mid-morning’s air

Face against glass in a trance does she stare

Precious and mirrored in the window’s glare

Peonies visible to human eye

It is light and refraction to define

With scattered prism effects to reply

Painting abundant rainbow shades so sublime

Each crystal of her soul is floating, weightless it seems

Hovering low to allow me to psychically see

The pain behind the smiles, I see thee

God is her light, a lady’s show of exquisite beauty as deemed

Hypnotic eloquent, this rare jewel’s dancing team

Effects of crystalline dust a luminescent glowing

Sustained in visual concentrating

Intense calm while spiritual mapping

In awe as our friendship experiences synchronistic time-lapsing.

~DiosRaw, 15/07/21

~For You Eleanor 🌹~

Do check Eleanor’s beautiful writings out ~ https://youlildickens.wordpress.com

Poetry {127} ~ CHEMICAL IMPETUS

A ripple reverberating the cogs spinning in the system

A cause and effect law of harmony role playing

New spirits, new energy

Souls sparking chemical reactions

New thoughts consult to speak

Past characters play hide and seek

Let our meeting be thus a chemical reaction without the desire of sophistication of verbosity

Nothing lexical, but a morphing of two colours inking

Yellow to deep indigo like i am being oxidized by your yellow sulfuric essence

Persist to hug the resist whilst gifting the transition into

Something kinder
Something greater
Something stronger

Than our sub-stories inside that test tube heated the meta-narrative bunsen burner

I am the essence of my own chemistry I see

And the chemistry of my own chi

The noble nursing gas that gives impetus to my magic

The oxygen and water that give birth to my lyric

My soul takes birth out of the womb of chemistry

For hydrogen and helium dissolve in my tears in floods of poetry

The E motion is knotted to a chemical reaction

A formulae logical notion of electricity and magnetism that convert into a chemical equation

To ellucidate about the chemistry of the cosmos illogically.

~DiosRaw, 14/07/21

Poetry {126} ~ SACRIFICIAL LAMB ON THE RAGE OF YOUR ALTAR

Letting go of lieing to myself I can fix him

He’s been this way for a long long time

And he doesn’t intend to change

Don’t be a sacrificial lame on the altar of his jekyll and hyde rage

Don’t play the martyr for his low vibrational hate

I’m not that chained up person interrogated nights and days anymore

You can never save someone by allowing them to destroy you

That’s not love, it’s relational suicide

Save yourself

Get out while you still can

They’ll stab you in the lungs

And enquire as to why you’re having trouble breathing

Anxiety, pain, fear, weak, worry

I had no idea how I’d come up with this strength in such a hurry

Closed my eyes and took a leap into the abyss of the unknown

I knew I had to get out

My soul’s language urged to direct into a new tributary route.

~DiosRaw, 13/07/21

Poetry {125} ~ AFTERGLOW STRATOSPHERIC GOLD GENIE

After the tempestuous rains
Spirit you gift us

The rainbow but
Where to find
This sacred
Genie of gold
Yet I resonate
The real beauty
Is the afterglow
Red blue green
Yellow violet and
Some indigo

Dialouguing in broken hearts
and mended neuropathic pathways
Witnessing painting skies
Of tangerine, saffron
And an illuminated pastel lilac hue
Against the backdrop of starkly contrasted crisp rich cornflower blue Stretching canvas
Along with the
Other blindingly beautiful colors of a mystical twilight sky

And those oozing cotton candy stratospheric clouds drown me in the fields of God’s kingdom
Ice crystals freezing into supercooled
water droplets bounce off my nose
Streaking the sky in cirrus whispers

Finding depth and height, deepness and light
Out in the stratosphere where my freedom hides to reclaim
Blinded by the
After light
Or afterglow
Affected by the amount of haze
Dazzled daze

As the sadness and numbness reaches again, sinking, in the gap between a distracted dream of reality.

Appreciating those glimpses, through the looking glass, of what it feels like to feel again.

~DiosRaw, 12/07/21

Poetry {124} ~ FIBONNACI MÖBIUS STRIP DREAMS LOST IN ORBIT

Whipping up fractals in the eternal replication of mountains sweeping OCD billowings

Looping in spirals once more for the evergreen multiple personality disorder trees

Creator emerges in the use of calculus

For the waves congealing in the bellows of the bipolar seas

Fibonacci embedded in sea shells

I heard you were feeling misunderstood and alone yet you’re all too near

Fibonacci knows the perfect rose

I submit to you in offering for you reading my dear

If at all this existence only a blip

When we entangled our Möbius strip

What are we?

But a dusting of a speck in this universe?

Of granite, metal and a burning tail of Atmans trailing in branding patterns

Fiery wild tempestuous passion

Moving in a constant meaning craved speed

As if we already knew

As if we planned

As if written

As if measured

In blindfolds in this unknown forever limbo

Yet YOU are all of it, can you digest and truly believe it?

Indulging ourselves in the futility of a dog chasing its tail

Are we just asleep in this theatre conversing in our dreams

Decoding whitenoise afterglows pixelating the screens

Over shifting planes of time

Like the stars believed that fate is their religion leaflet

Or the cosmos furtive of its musings and secrets?

~DiosRaw, 11/07/21

Poetry {123} ~PARALYZED IN-BETWEEN RENDITIONS

Paralyzed

The dense vehicle stagnant, frozen, in-between unknown spaces of realms ethereal

It’s locked here, in this exact position fixated on you and your distinctions

Resting on you but not dependent on you

Wide eyed… fixated

Paralyzed by you egoicly

I paralysed myself ultimately

Stopped abruptly dead in moving existence and forced to cease all other activity

My body knows to breathe in, out, breathe you in and out, that is all

Taking in every second of this moment with or without choice, regardless

Although everything inside stirs, warms, and moves I am still paralyzed by you

To shake this hold that stops me and paralyzes me what will it take?

I, too, have been paralyzed by every ounce of you

Your presence in this room, the renditional image of you swirling in and out of waking consciousness

It forces the world to stop in my paralysis

Hordes of metaphorical oracles awaken me from astral wandering sleep

Dreams of paralysis, bewildered inside the deep

Rabbit hole analysis greets a descent, daringly steep

While these prodding thoughts got me tripping over my heavy feet

Interpretations or revelations, what could it be?

The more that is reflected, the more I see you.

~DiosRaw, 10/07/21

Poetry {122} ~ SENSUAL CAPTIVATING GYPSY ROSE AURA DANCE

Dance gypsy rose soul in the garden of your delicious wild fantasy imagination

Gypsy lady free your spirit

Sing the songs of your rhythmic divinity all night long

Caress our spirits with the magnificent powers of your captivating intriguablity

Gypsy princess reveal to us the sensual steps of your mystical life waltz

Paint the colours of your rainbow across the hearts of the bleeding

Dance gypsy soul

Gypsy lady sing the song of your mystical aura

Gypsy princess waltz around mysery,
waltz it til its dissipated

Oh dance gypsy soul, don’t give up now

Gypsy lady you can survive the fight

Gypsy soul, Gypsy soul

Dance, dance the pain into oblivion

Free your spirit

Gypsy lady, Gypsy spirit, Gypsy princess

Dance harder, dance more devoted than you’ve ever dared to dance

Dance us your gypsy dance, sing us your gypsy song

Gypsy soul

Dance gypsy soul with the glint in your eye

That catches a hypnotic wink from the crowd

He delicately pulls up her dress

He knows what she aches for

As they both ripple tingles through their flesh

Enviable ecstasy building warms both souls

He sees his heart’s desire

Between her soft supple thighs

Sweet gypsy woman, love me tonight..

~DiosRaw, 09/08/21

Poetry {121} ~ LIMBO PSYCHE

The uncertainty appears punishing

Impossible to bear

Living in limbo

The psyche creeks to tear

Delirious stagnation

Dithering on the edge

Between you and your patience

Driving a wedge

Neither here nor there

Pain left to dry and flake

Boxless box

Not deemed to have the tool to carry out the operation

I think I must need you
{I’ve never been so cold}
I think it must be my fault
{I feel this phantom rain}
Perhaps I am still sleeping
{I’ve never woken up}
I want you to infect me
{I do not want sin}
We can fall apart together
{Can’t you please fix me}
I can’t scream

{I can’t scream}

Beating the drums with rapturous precision

Immerse and soothe in hum for the future’s seasons

As we’re sealed in seething delusions

When I was a little girl I dreamed of this place

Cruising odd edges and all

Now I know that place

And like purgatory, limbo land.

~DiosRaw, 08/07/21