Tag Archives: confusion


No one can feel what you are

Inside of that paralysed smile

Foraging for answers already in plain sight

Each stride elludes you deeper

To view the cracks that cannot be filled

Hibernating mythological metastory of the unfolding story

Confusion and chaos cloud the mind

Maybe if I describe the cycle of the butterfly

You will know why endeavours from your past

Have to die before you can fly

Hovering over myself as a foreign body

A ghost thrown to the wind as a kite

Staring into the movie theatre of the soul

Multiple personalities, one here and another in my dreams

Absent is the sure mind

Bending to the energetic pull

Now them in a different body

Altered personality, survival

At odds with each other, split and divided

Whipped up in a stew of colliding cosmic forces

Aren’t we all actors playing characters in a split personality dream?

Reflecting the chandelier of character faces within the hypermind of God.

~DiosRaw, 27/05/21


How can we understand ourselves, if we don’t?

How can others understand us, if they don’t understand themselves?

We decieve ourselves in a divided mentality

What we believe so happens to be

Is not the objective reality

Our senses bend to perceive

Compartmentalised morality

The voices I hear, what do they want from me?

The floor rises and falls, it breathes

The walls crawl as they churn

Bugs crawl under my skin, pins and needle sensations burn

Judgment in tow complications

Splitting heads, cracked shell

Each one differentiating, cracks scattered into protective personalities

Sweeping up debris of the sensory world

Who am I?


Is fiction, reality?

Maybe poem’s are a kind of schizophrenia

Maybe these poems do not express thoughts and feelings

But a transfer of energy between poet and reader

These pills dulling the colours

Melting into a spectrum of greys


The price to pay

Just to be okay.

~DiosRaw, 27/04/21

Journal {5} ~ 21/04/21 ~ Forgetting What It Feels Like To Be & Feel Human

After that time and what happened, I have forgotten what it feels like to be human; to feel emotion, to feel safe, to feel anything.. What is it like to cry? Numbness is my reality. Neurotransmitters feel non-existent and reality has never been the same since. I can’t believe I am still alive. In a way, pharmaceuticals are stealing my soul, once hooked, they are, is my case, hell to come off these death pills. Looping in circles.

Sometimes music hits you, a hint of pain strikes through you at what life could be like and having to accept where you are. The beauty and pain of human life.

Smiling behind the pain as many of us do and creating to survive. We are all going through something.

~Love is the answer. Amber, DiosRaw 21/04/21