Tag Archives: development

The Human Family Crash Course Series {5} ~ Communication {8} ~ How To Stop Your Emotional Brain Taking Over

Welcome fellow souls to « The Human Family Crash Course Series, » a new project collaborated together by empress2inspire.blog and diosraw0.wordpress.com. Together we will be working on a different topic for each crash course; our fifth topic is focused on «Communication.» Each topic will have eight posts with posts on Mondays and Thursdays. We hope you enjoy our series and we look forward to knowing how our posts have inspired you!

Within one’s lives, the individuals belonging to various age groups, categories and backgrounds experience positive as well as negative emotions. Happiness is regarded as a positive emotion, whereas, the psychological problems of anger, frustration, stress, depression, anxiety, trauma, and pride are regarded as negative emotions. When these feelings impose barriers within the course of implementation of communication processes, it is regarded as positive emotional barriers and negative emotional barriers. The positive emotional barriers are happiness and negative emotional barriers are anger, frustration, stress, depression, anxiety, trauma, and pride. The individuals need to be well-aware in terms of methods, approaches and strategies, which are necessary in overcoming emotional barriers. When the individuals are pursuing higher education or training programs or are engaged in employment opportunities in reputed organizations, they are well-aware that when they need to communicate with their instructors, supervisors, or employers, they need to depict decency and exercise control on emotional barriers. On the other hand, when communication takes place in an informal manner among fellow students or colleagues, then in some cases, emotional barriers may take place. But the individuals need to ensure that they communicate with each other happily and should not let the psychological problems of anger, frustration, stress, depression, anxiety, trauma, and pride impede the communication processes.

It is of utmost significance for the individuals to overcome emotional barriers in effective communication. The reason being, when they will generate awareness in terms of measures, which are necessary in overcoming emotional barriers to effective communication, they will carry out this task in a well-organized manner. It is necessary for the individuals to augment their understanding in terms of ways to keep a healthy mind-set. When the mind-sets of the individuals are healthy, they are able to overcome emotional barriers as well as carry out their tasks and functions in a satisfactory manner. The measures to overcome emotional barriers in effective communication and in implementing one’s tasks and activities in an appropriate manner are stated as follows:

~ Develop Positive Thinking

Development of positive thinking is regarded as one of the important ways of augmenting one’s communication skills and forming sociable terms and relationships with others. When the individuals develop positive thinking, they will be able to alleviate the emotional barriers to effective communication. When the individuals are dedicated towards the pursuance of career goals, they need to develop positive thinking in terms of the individuals as well as the working environmental conditions. This will enable the individuals to develop motivation and interest towards the implementation of their job duties as well as in promoting effective communication with others. Therefore, it can be stated, development of positive thinking is one of the crucial measures of overcoming emotional barriers to effective communication.

~Get Engaged in Physical Activities

Getting in various types of physical activities is regarded as one of the indispensable ways of alleviating stress as well as other psychological problems of anxiety, depression, anger and frustration. The various types of physical activities that the individuals get engaged in are, walking, running, cycling, and so forth. It is recommended that for about 20 to 30 minutes, at least thrice a week, one should get engaged in physical activities. This measure will not only enable the individuals to maintain good health, but they are also able to alleviate psychological problems and promote effective communication with others. Therefore, it can be stated, getting engaged in physical activities is one of the important measures of overcoming emotional barriers to effective communication.

~ Consume Healthy and Nutritious Diet

Consumption of a healthy and nutritious diet is regarded to be of utmost significance for the individuals to stay healthy physically as well as psychologically. It is comprehensively understood that the diet that the individuals consume renders a significant contribution in framing their mind-sets. When the individuals consume a healthy and nutritious diet, they are not only able to maintain good health, but also are able to enhance their concentration on various tasks and activities. When they concentrate on tasks and functions, they will be able to overcome barriers to effective communication. Therefore, it can be stated, consuming a healthy and nutritious diet is one of the vital measures of overcoming emotional barriers to effective communication.

~ Mediate

In recent years, the technique of meditation has acquired significance to a major extent. This technique is prevalent since ancient times and it is comprehensively understood that when individuals put into operation this technique, they will develop a calm mind-set and learn to exercise control on psychological problems. Research has indicated, when the individuals are engaged in jobs, which are demanding and tedious, they in some cases feel work pressure, stress and anxiety, but when they practice meditation, they are not only able to alleviate the feelings of stress and anxiety, but also are able to promote healthy mind-sets. Therefore, it can be stated, meditating is regarded as one of the indispensable measures of overcoming emotional barriers to effective communication.

~ Maintain High Levels of Mental Activity

The individuals, belonging to various age groups, categories and backgrounds need to maintain high levels of mental activity. Maintaining high levels of mental activity is referred to having active mind-sets. In order to accomplish this purpose, the individuals need to get engaged in tasks and activities, which promotes active mind-sets and well-being. The individuals need to get engaged in tasks and activities, which would help them to stay healthy and active. When the individuals maintain high levels of mental activity, they are able to overcome the psychological problems of anger, frustration, stress, depression, anxiety, trauma and eliminate emotional barriers to effective communication. Therefore, maintaining high levels of mental activity is one of the crucial measures of overcoming emotional barriers to effective communication.

~ Do Brain Training

Brain training is referred to participating in tasks and activities, which enable the individuals to bring about improvements in analytical and problem solving skills (Roche, 2014). When the individuals are pursuing educational programs or are engaged in employment opportunities in organizations, they need to develop analytical and problem solving skills. When the individuals experience problems and are unable to provide solutions to them, they feel stressed and anxious. Hence, brain training will render a significant contribution in providing solutions to problems as well as in honing one’s analytical and problem solving skills. This will also contribute in overcoming emotional barriers to effective communication. Therefore, doing brain training is regarded as one of the fundamental measures of overcoming emotional barriers to effective communication.

The measures to overcome emotional barriers in effective communication and in implementing one’s tasks and activities in an appropriate manner are, get engaged in physical activities, consume healthy and nutritious diet, maintain good terms and relationships, develop positive thinking, acquire education and training, conduct research on regular basis, mediate, acquire healthcare and medical treatment, maintain high levels of mental activity and do brain training. Finally, it can be stated, when the individuals will put into operation the measures in a satisfactory manner, they will not only carry out communication in an appropriate manner, but also render a significant contribution in enriching their overall quality of lives.

~Garima {Empress2Inspire}

Guest Posts {13} ~ Commitment Phobia

~This is a guest post from Anita ~ http://anitavij.com~

“I want a committed relationship, but I am afraid that I may get hurt.”

”Do you have commitment phobia”?
We have heard this phrase many times in our life. What does it mean when someone has commitment phobia?

To understand this, first we have to understand the meaning of commitment. The definition of a commitment is a promise or agreement to do something. An example of a commitment is marriage. Another example of commitment is going into business with someone.

Commitment is a dedication to a particular organization, cause, or belief, and a willingness to get involved.

If we talk about commitment in relationships, the main goal of commitment is for each party to feel some sense of security and control. When you are in a contract, you feel comfortable and have some expectations from your partner.

While doing business with a partner or working for an organization, you will need commitment, initiative and desire to succeed.

Commitment is a choice. If the thought of it gets you panicked, you have to introspect to understand why. Fear to commit is called commitment phobia. Commitment phobia can impact your ability to commit to anything, leave apart just relationships. It can include fear of deep friendship or reluctance to commit to a job or to your own financial wellbeing.

We have to look for the reasons behind commitment phobia. In relationships, this can be hidden in some childhood incident such as parent’s divorce or marital problems. It may also be some other past unsuccessful relationships that are still haunting one and stopping from making the commitment. So, the past experiences that instil a sense of fear or passive avoidance of ending up in an unsatisfying relationship can result in commitment phobia.

As dating and relationship expert and author Laura Bilotta explains, “commitment issues can stem from a number of experiences, including early childhood traumas and recent relationship history, and these commitment phobias can keep you from having happy and healthy relationships moving forward.”

Job commitment phobia or fear of committing to a working partner is another cause of suffering for many. It may be considered a form of social phobia or performance phobia.

Clinical psychologist Dr Abigael San agrees pointed out that although it’s not a diagnosable condition, commitment-phobia is definitely real: “There’s a scale, people have it to different extents,” she says.

Just to add humor to this serious subject, I would like to give an example from a Bollywood movie.

In Shuddh Desi Romance, Rishi Kapoor donning a dhoti and pagdi as a small-town wedding planner-cum-wedding bandowner asks the hero a simple question: “Tum ladke ladkiya Pehle Ek doosre ke peechhe bhagate ho, aur phir ek doosre se door bhagate ho. Main shaadi karwaoon toh kiski? (young boys and girls, you first run after each other and then run away from each other. Who will I help get married?)” The hero Raghu, a Jaipur tourist guide replies with a straight face: “Marriages are passe. Look for other business options.” The conversation pretty much sums up the mood of a new generation that seems increasingly reluctant about steady commitment in relationships, particularly marriage.😇😇

For most people relationships come naturally to life as breathing or making a meal. But for some, however, relationships are not that easy. People with commitment issues, commitment phobia or relationship anxiety generally have a serious problem staying in a relationship or a job for substantially long periods of time. While they can feel love like anyone else, the feeling of losing their partner drives anxiety in them and the hesitation to commit sets in.

What can be done about commitment issues:

Let’s explore ways of dealing with it effectively.

Like most emotional and psychological struggles, there is no “quick fix” or “cure” for intense relationship anxiety or commitment phobia. By exploring your personal experiences, beliefs, fears, and wants/needs you can open yourself up to the possibility of a change. Learning to understand these areas about yourself and your life helps to re-frame or shift your mindset to build a healthier future deeply set in emotions, connection, and relationships.

First of all, you have to find the root cause of this phobia. Introspect and you may spot the cause, perhaps set in a previous life experience, which is stopping you from committing.

If you happen to find the cause, know that bad experiences are a part of life. If you experienced trauma or torture in the past, it’s hard, however, it’s not the end of the life. Give yourself another chance, life may throw pleasant surprises at you and it all may come back on track.

Everyone does face failures and unwanted situations in life, some more than others. However, giving life another shot is a choice we must all make.

Some tend to set the cause of their lack of commitment in experiences that they never encountered first-hand, but their near- and dear ones did. If you have seen your friend or relative being cheated by a business partner, that doesn’t mean that the same will happen to you too. The same applies to a romantic relationship or other forms of commitments. Don’t hesitate to pursue opportunities to commit in your life just because some others around you encountered unfortunate negative experiences.

If you just went through a breakup, be it a marriage or a business partnership, take a break and give it some time to heal. Time is the biggest healer.

Don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Many people face difficult situations in their life and professional counselling and assistance goes a long way in recovery. Think deeply about this option and discuss with those around you who deeply care for your wellbeing.

I love this quote by Neil Strauss,” Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, or business or a hobby.”

Commitment is the price one pays for the longevity of relationships, and after all, when it all works out, it’s a price well worth it.

I wish your commitments find their anchor and bring the best to your well-deserving lives!!

None of the blogs or opinions expressed within is meant as advice to you or anybody else on any matter, including but not limited to, personal finance, health, or other matters of life. If you need advice, speak to a professional!

~To see more of this writer’s work ~ http://anitavij.com~

~To guest post feel free to share over your post by going to this blog’s connect page to find my email.~

Religion {3} ~ Shinto

The essence of Shinto is the Japanese devotion to invisible spiritual beings and powers called kami, to shrines, and to various rituals.

Shinto is not a way of explaining the world. What matters are rituals that enable human beings to communicate with kami.

Kami are not God or gods. They are spirits that are concerned with human beings – they appreciate our interest in them and want us to be happy – and if they are treated properly they will intervene in our lives to bring benefits like health, business success, and good exam results.

Shinto is a very local religion, in which devotees are likely to be concerned with their local shrine rather than the religion as a whole. Many Japanese will have a tiny shrine-altar in their homes.

However, it is also an unofficial national religion with shrines that draw visitors from across the country. Because ritual rather than belief is at the heart of Shinto, Japanese people don’t usually think of Shinto specifically as a religion – it’s simply an aspect of Japanese life. This has enabled Shinto to coexist happily with Buddhism for centuries.

~The name Shinto comes from Chinese characters for Shen (‘divine being’), and Tao (‘way’) and means ‘Way of the Spirits’.
~Shrine visiting and taking part in festivals play a great part in binding local communities together.
~Shrine visiting at New Year is the most popular shared national event in Japan.
~Because Shinto is focused on the land of Japan it is clearly an ethnic religion. Therefore Shinto is little interested in missionary work, and rarely practised outside its country of origin.
~Shinto sees human beings as basically good and has no concept of original sin, or of humanity as ‘fallen’.
~Everything, including the spiritual, is experienced as part of this world. ~Shinto has no place for any transcendental other world.
~Shinto has no canonical scriptures.
~Shinto teaches important ethical principles but has no commandments.
~Shinto has no founder.
~Shinto has no God.
~Shinto does not require adherents to follow it as their only religion.

Body Language {11} ~ How To Tell If Someone Is Lying

  1. Matching Words & Body Language
    In our culture, shaking one’s head up and down means yes, and side to side means no. If someone is saying, “No, I didn’t do it,” but their head is shaking yes, they probably did it, said Brown. “People subconsciously accent things with their heads all the time,” she added, and the head is more trustworthy than the mouth.
  2. Lips Don’t Lie
    Folding in one’s lips before speaking is a red flag. “When people’s lips disappear, they are holding back information,” said Brown. “The next thing that comes out of their mouth is either a half-truth or a lie.”
  3. Be Attuned to Tone
    Tone of voice is one of the best indicators of deception. A strong “convincing” tone often indicates deception, while a softer “conveying” tone can mean someone is telling a partial truth and not the whole story.
  4. Big Talkers
    People who are most effusive in their denials or other untrue statements are among the most likely to be guilty. “The ones who are working really hard at looking like the good guy are the people we have got to be wary of,” said Brown.
  5. Notice the Jitters
    “If someone becomes fidgety, that can indicate deception,” Brown noted. Our feet give us away with the instinct to flee an uncomfortable situation, and when our brains tell us we can’t do that, a little dancing in place might be the result.
  6. Look for Inconsistencies
    People have typical patterns with respect to their baseline body language and manner of speaking. If someone’s body language is unusual for that person, take note.
  7. It’s in the Eyes
    “When you see the whites of people’s eyes, that means fear,” said Brown. If someone’s eyes dart around when they’re asked a question — shifting up, down and side-to-side — they’re fearful of giving an honest answer.
  8. Yes or No Isn’t Maybe
    “I think so,” “I don’t recall” or “to the best of my knowledge” are suspect answers to any yes-or-no question.
  9. Distrust a Delay
    “If someone waits more than five seconds to answer a question, that’s a pretty good sign of deception,” said Brown.

With careful observation, we can become adept at reading the nonverbal cues of a liar. People often attempt to suppress their emotions but there is ‘leakage,’ known as micro expressions, which occur in one-fifth of a second.

Source ~ https://www.meetings-conventions.com/News/Third-Party/Body-Language-Signs-Someone-Is-Lying

The Human Family Crash Course Series {5} ~ Communication {6} ~ How To Stay Focused During Video Conferences

Welcome fellow souls to « The Human Family Crash Course Series, » a new project collaborated together by empress2inspire.blog and diosraw0.wordpress.com. Together we will be working on a different topic for each crash course; our fifth topic is focused on «Communication.» Each topic will have eight posts with posts on Mondays and Thursdays. We hope you enjoy our series and we look forward to knowing how our posts have inspired you!

Remember a time when zoom calls were new. We used to get so excited about logging on, seeing people and having these work conversations over the internet. And three months later, well, they suck. I think most of my days are taken up by video conferencing. We are still working from home and for me sometimes there are 5-6 video conferencing calls a day back to back. It’s tough so I have recently spent a lot of time figuring out how I can survive these long conference calls.

Here’s how you can stay focused on engaging through these calls. I hope these tips can be helpful for all of you:

Tip 1: Make it easy to stay focused
Tip 2: Show the other person that you are focused. This will help you stay focused.
Tip 3: Be prepared for the challenging calls.

Tip 1: Make it easy to stay focused
I have realised that focus for me is a very big issue on days when I am tired or when I have too many calls back to back. So I started thinking about why this is happening and I realised that one of the first reasons was there were too many distractions. So obviously for me the first solution was to remove all of these distractions. I put my phone out of sight so that I can’t see that. I removed the clutter from my desk. I cleaned up my digital desktop. This might come handy especially when you are sharing your screen with people, it’s nice to have your desktop clean. Have only tabs which are relevant for the meeting opened in your browser. Position the documents which you are referring to or reading from in the centre so that it seems you are looking at your camera when you are talking. Sometimes when I am talking and I need to look at my notes, I move my notes on the top centre of my screen so that it looks like I am looking at the camera while I am also looking at the notes at the same time. Even if your environment is very quiet, having your earphones on while you are working can help you focus on your work. It can specially come handy when there are more than one people working out of the same home, just a wall apart. Always have a glass of water available with you and mute yourself on calls when you are trying to drink. Also pro-tip have a lid on that glass of water unless you want to spill water on your laptop. Trust me I am speaking from experience. Avoid drinking any carbonated soda or spring water on calls because those bubbles will come back in the form of a burp on the call. If you notice your eyes are getting tired, play around with different steups and brightness on your laptop.

Tip 2: Show the other person that you are focused. This will help you stay focused.
Eye contact is everything. Look into the camera when you are talking when you are being authoritative and when you want to make a point because that looks like you are looking at the other person. Make sure that your computer is actually lifted because if you are on a laptop. You want to make sure that your eye level is where the camera is and that’s why keeping few books under your laptop may be beneficial. Put a little sticky note at the top of your laptop near your camera with a smiley face so that it kind of reminds you to look at the person when you are looking there. Oftentimes when you watch people on the camera and they don’t really realise that you are watching them, the face changes look like something focused on beyond the screen and this makes a huge difference when it comes to communication. One of the things that we usually forget is that when we are on these calls, our heads are quite close to the cameras and so people can tell when you are looking over or looking at text messages on your phone. In real life you are never that close to people so can get away with a lot more. But when you are online, it is difficult to get away with it. The message it sends is that hey, I am not focusing on you so don’t have to focus on me and hence there is a disconnect. Think of the camera as a magnet and when you do look away and you will, like you are going to look at the clock to see what time it is or you are going to look down on your notes to refer something and that’s okay, just make an effort to keep going back at thee camera and to maintain your presence in the meeting. If you think your eyes and the camera have a magnetic connection then you will keep going back to that. Sometimes telling people why you are looking away is a way of being polite and letting them know that you are still a part of the conversation.

Tip 3: Be prepared for the challenging calls
We have all been in them. We have all survived to tell the tale. Not all our calls are created equal. Some are really challenging and some are a breeze. It is the way it is because you are interacting with different people on different topics in different scenarios all those kinds of things. It may be the way the person is speaking or maybe their internet connection is consistently bad and so it’s hard to hear them, whatever that is, you know while going in who those challenging counterparts are going to be. If you can anticipate that, that will help you lower your expectations and manage your stress better. Another way is to not forget your listening skills. I have some typical tips which might help like :

  • Set an intention. This means think about why you are listening and what the outcome might be for the conversation. What is the purpose of your listening. Are you listening to learn something new or you are listening to find out someone’s instructions, whatever it is, have that in mind.
  • Use confirmation language when you are listening. That is especially important in these calls because if you are on mute all the time, then people really do not know that you are listening. So unmute yourself, ask a question, use some reflective language, confirm something that they said just to let them know that you were listening.
  • Finally if you are totally distracted and someone is going on and on and on then practice shadowing. Shadowing is when you are listening to somebody and in your head you are repeating every single word they say. It’s like forced focus, you can’t think about anything else because you are using all of your energy to repeat what they said.

So those are three tips on how to stay focused during video conferencing. These endless video conference calls have to be made easy because it seems like we will be doing them for a long while now. Also don’t forget to give yourself breaks. Stand up, walk around the house, drink some water. Also remember that the other person on the call may be going through the same thing. They may also be tired of the calls one after the other. You can help them out by being focused and engaging.

If you have any additional tips on how to stay engaged, please do share in the comments section. We always love to hear from you. If there are any questions you would like us to address, please feel free to ask us and we will try to answer them as best as possible.

~Garima {Empress2Inspire}

~Spellbound Humanity~

Many of humankind has been sleeping for a very long, long time. It is approaching time for them to awaken and your kindness and care will be important in the near future. For, these souls have been ‘spellbound’ and they have no idea that they are.

They move around in their day to day lives doing what they feel should be done in their world but they watch the television, they play with their devices, they belong to all of the apps in the App Store. ~ Unknown