Tag Archives: self-help

The Human Family Crash Course Series {9} ~ Grounding {1} ~ Discovering Who You Are & What You Are

Welcome fellow souls to «The Human Family Crash Course Series», a project collaborated by empress2inspire.blog and dios-raw.com. Together we will be working on a different topic for each crash course; our ninth topic is focused on «Grounding». Each topic will have eight posts with posts on Mondays and Thursdays. We hope you enjoy our series and we look forward to knowing how our posts have inspired you!

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ~ Aristotle

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.” ~ Lewis Carroll , Alice in Wonderland

“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring, will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time.” ~ T. S. Eliot, Four Quartets

You’re lost in the abyss.. You’re ashamed to admit that you have null clues about who you truly are, you have no idea about what you want in life. In truth, you feel like a complete stranger to yourself. Can you relate? If so, don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you.

There are a multiplex of reasons as to why it’s difficult to know who you really are. Some of the main explanations include ~ 

~You were raised in a dysfunctional family that discarded individuality and had strict family roles (you’re likely also the black sheep of the family).

~You’ve developed low self-esteem/self-loathing as a result of negative life experiences, and the thoughts (or stories) in your head prevent you from seeing your true beauty/power.

~You’re being heavily influenced by the media including TV shows, movies, ads, YouTube channels, Instagram celebrities, etc. who make you think that you need to be someone you’re not (thus, demoralizing you even more).

~You’re surrounded by people who reinforce inauthenticity, low self-esteem, and poor decision making – these people feed the cycle of your insecurity and confusion.

~Your daily habits, commitments, and life choices prevent you from taking the time to soul search and find who you truly are.

What has happened? Your ego is your false identity self, the mask you present to the world. You were conditioned to develop this ego-mask as a child as we all are. The ego’s purpose is to help you function in society. But at the same time, it also obscures your True Self (your Soul). Soul loss is the result of us identifying with our False Self (ego) and forgetting about our True Self (soul).

As a result of our soul loss, we don’t know who we truly are. We’re also plagued with feelings of depression, anxiety, emptiness, hopelessness, and a sensation of being like little tiny isolated islands floating in the sea of life, delirious. In truth, if we could connect with our souls, we’d realize how interconnected we truly are and no longer suffer so much. When we identify with the False Self, we lose touch with our wildness, with the vitality and rawness of who we truly are and what we genuinely want. This lack of wildness, zestfulness, and soulfulness is what gives rise to a feeling of staleness and boredom. We feel empty inside. We become bored with ourselves easily and keep pursuing relationships, careers, or things that we think will give us back that spark of life. We are then living an illusion.

Remember that nothing outside of yourself can reinstate or embed that soul spark within you, it’s all here now simultaneously happening in the forever present. All the wisdom and knowledge you need is right here, hidden in plain sight as they say. 

Here are some tips to explore who you truly are ~ 

~Make time for solitude. In solitude, we can space ourselves from the noise around us that clutters our minds and confuses us. If others are confused, explain to them that you need some time to rejuvenate alone. If they’re reasonable, they’ll get the picture. If not, you may need to forcibly set boundaries and find time to be alone.

~Mentally and emotionally purge. One of the most effective ways of mentally and emotionally purging is through journaling and drawing. Begin by vomiting all that you feel onto a page. Don’t censor yourself. Let it run free and get as explicit as you like.

~Pinpoint your top five core needs. One prominent way of pinpointing your core needs is by focusing on areas of life that make you feel miserable. In what parts of life are you the unhappiest? You can be sure a core need isn’t being met there, look into it and stare it in the face.

~Think about what you really want in life.

~Embrace your right to be self-sovereign. To be self-sovereign means to step into the role of King or Queen of your life. Instead of seeking validation and approval from others like a beggar, you turn inwards and find that acceptance within yourself.

~Explore, travel, ponder and find your passion. Many of you reading may be writers, in this case, venture into different areas such as poetry to dive into new avenues.

~Say goodbye to people and commitments that reinforce inauthenticity. It might be scary to redesign your life from the ground up, but it’s worth doing if you want to make real change. Try to find friends and commitments that honor your right to be self-sovereign.

~Connect with your spiritual center. To reconnect with your spiritual center, whether you call that your soul, God, your higher self or your spirit guide, make some conscious and intentional time to explore what spirituality means for and to you.

~Reconnect with your wildness. Pay attention to what fills you with joy, excitement, fizziness, and passion. You can be sure you’ve found something that enriches your soul, something that is truly you. Reconnecting with your wildness is very much about learning to connect to your body. Your body is like an antenna of truth, and anything untrue will immediately be registered and expressed by your body.

“When Akiba was on his deathbed, he bemoaned to his rabbi that he felt he was a failure. His rabbi moved closer and asked why, and Akiba confessed that he had not lived a life like Moses. The poor man began to cry, admitting that he feared God’s judgment. At this, his rabbi leaned into his ear and whispered gently, “God will not judge Akiba for not being Moses. God will judge Akiba for not being Akiba.” ~ From the Talmud

Exploring and journeying into how to find yourself can be a winding and looping path, but it’s worth walking. Without finding out who you truly are, you will forever feel lost in life and continuously make the same mistakes, over and over again, ad nauseam. To find yourself is to be yourself, and to be yourself is to find yourself. There is both an individual and transpersonal element to finding yourself; it is a path necessary for outer and inner growth.

Our hope is that now you have a fresh path to follow and some valuable advice to absorb. Feel free to tell us, what has your journey been like in learning to find yourself?

~Amber {DiosRaw}

The Human Family Crash Course Series {5} ~ Communication {5} ~ How To Say No Politely

Welcome fellow souls to « The Human Family Crash Course Series, » a new project collaborated together by empress2inspire.blog and diosraw0.wordpress.com. Together we will be working on a different topic for each crash course; our fifth topic is focused on «Communication.» Each topic will have eight posts with posts on Mondays and Thursdays. We hope you enjoy our series and we look forward to knowing how our posts have inspired you!

~“Saying NO is an art, master it.” ~
Vikrmn: CA Vikram Verma
~”Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” ~
Anna Taylor

Why do we find it hard to say “no”? Because we want people to like us and would like to appear kind. ‘No’ is counterintuitive to this notion, when we say ‘no’ we fear the repercussions. Humans crave social and emotional stimuli; attention, recognition and intimacy are critical for our emotional and physical survival. “No” can be perceived as a rejection, the very thing that humans are programmed to avoid. The fear of missing out is another reason why people struggle with ‘no’, as social beings, we unconsciously base our beliefs on the current values of society. The Chimp Paradox explains: “The need to belong to a group is so powerful that we will often compromise our lives and lifestyle to remain as part of the group.”

Here are some ways for you to say no politely ~

  1. Vague and effective ~ “Thank you for asking, but that isn’t going to work out for me.”
  2. It’s not personal ~ “Thank you for asking, but I’m not doing any interviews while I’m writing my book at the moment.”
  3. Ask me later ~ “I would like to do that, but I’m not available until July. Will you ask me again then please?”
  4. Let me hook you up ~ “I can’t do it, but I’ll bet Jasmine can. I’ll ask her for you.”
  5. Keep persisting ~ “None of those dates work for me, but I would love to see you. Send me some more dates.”
  6. Try me last minute ~ “I can’t put anything else on my calendar this month, but I’d love to do that with you sometime. Will you call me right before you go again?”
  7. Gratitude ~ “Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and support! I’m sorry I’m not able to help you at this time.”
  8. Give the dad a chance ~ “Let’s ask Dad if he wants to help this year.”
  9. 5-minute favour ~ “I can’t speak at your event, but I will help you promote it on my blog.”
  10. Just No ~ “Thanks, I’ll have to pass on that.”
  11. Gracious ~ “I really appreciate you asking me, but my time is already committed.”
  12. I’m Sorry ~ “I wish I could, but it’s just not going to work right now.”
  13. My family is the reason ~ “Thanks so much for the invite, that’s the day of my son’s soccer game, and I never miss those.”
  14. I know someone else ~ “I don’t have time right now, but let me recommend someone who may be able to help you.”
  15. I’m already booked ~ “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m afraid I’m already booked that day.”
  16. Setting boundaries ~ “Let me tell you what I can do..” Then limit the commitment to what will be comfortable for you.
  17. Not no, but not yes ~ “Let me think about it, and I’ll get back to you.”
  18. I’m “maxed out” ~ We need a ‘safety word’ for saying no, an easy way to tell people that we can’t/won’t do the thing they are requesting, but that it’s not personal. You are asking them to respect that you’re taking care of yourself and that you also respect their need to take care of themselves.

Research suggests that when we precipitate a decision that allows us to change our minds later, we tend to be a lot less happy with the decisions that we make. Once we decline an invitation or say “no”, we need to make an effort to focus on the good that will come from saying no, not the regret or guilt we may feel. Perhaps we will be better rested because we didn’t go to a party, or we’ll feel less resentful because we let someone else help our friend out. Maybe saying no to something frees up time for another (more fulfilling) activity. Whatever the case may be, focus on the positive outcome of your effort to give a good “no”. Because saying no is really about allowing ourselves to really enjoy what we are doing in the moment, whatever that might be.

Feel free to let us know below how you set your boundaries and have learnt how to lovingly say no..

~Amber {DiosRaw}

Body Language {5} ~ Gestures

Gestures can be some of the most direct and obvious body language signals. Waving, pointing, and using the fingers to indicate numerical amounts are all very common and easy to understand gestures. Some gestures may be cultural, however, so giving a thumbs-up or a peace sign in another country might have a completely different meaning than it does in the United States for example.

The following examples are just a few common gestures and their possible meanings:

~A clenched fist can indicate anger in some situations or solidarity in others.
~A thumbs up and thumbs down are often used as gestures of approval and disapproval.
~The “okay” gesture, made by touching together the thumb and index finger in a circle while extending the other three fingers can be used to mean “okay” or “all right.” In some parts of Europe, however, the same signal is used to imply you are nothing. In some South American countries, the symbol is actually a vulgar gesture.
~The V sign, created by lifting the index and middle finger and separating them to create a V-shape, means peace or victory in some countries. In the United Kingdom and Australia, the symbol takes on an offensive meaning when the back of the hand is facing outward.

The Human Family Community Open Threads {35} ~ What Are Human Feelings?

Welcome to “The Human Family Community Open Threads,” a project open for anyone who would like to express their feelings, make friends or talk about anything; if you feel suicidal, depressed, anxious or lonely during these times this project is here for you. Feel free to leave a comment below and connect, let’s start a conversation. No judgement, we don’t know until we walk in someone else’s shoes..

~DiosRaw 22/04/21