Tag Archives: trauma

Journal {5} ~ 21/04/21 ~ Forgetting What It Feels Like To Be & Feel Human

After that time and what happened, I have forgotten what it feels like to be human; to feel emotion, to feel safe, to feel anything.. What is it like to cry? Numbness is my reality. Neurotransmitters feel non-existent and reality has never been the same since. I can’t believe I am still alive. In a way, pharmaceuticals are stealing my soul, once hooked, they are, is my case, hell to come off these death pills. Looping in circles.

Sometimes music hits you, a hint of pain strikes through you at what life could be like and having to accept where you are. The beauty and pain of human life.

Smiling behind the pain as many of us do and creating to survive. We are all going through something.

~Love is the answer. Amber, DiosRaw 21/04/21


Tears prick

The reminiscent

Plantom girl I once was

Before trauma decimated

My finely crafted mind

Enlightenment focus inclined

Monk aligned

Seeping wound

Oozing whips to the heart

Behind a glass

Pressing hands against the window

Which separates us

I can see you

But you cannot see me

Breathing on the translucent

To paint my mark in condensation

Talking to you, to this self, in conversation

Bound in a cast

The movie of life everlast

Ego fractals split

Infinite knots and fragments

Nose stinging

Eyes watering

I cannot cry for you

For I am concealed in a comatose pharmacological state

Where inner emotions and the past cannot relate

Is it too late

Closing the cosmic gate

Into soul fate

I fell for the bait

Tears prick

Phantom girl I once was.

~DiosRaw 03/04/21